Forums » The Coaching Corner

Personal Accountability - Part I

  • January 15, 2015 11:54 AM EST

    One of the greatest myths floating around is that we are entitled to a meaningful, happy life filled with a successful career, supportive relationships and financial security. There is a great disappointment when we go about our lives expecting all of this to just magically happen. Is there truly any chance of living a fully integrated and satisfying life in this age of chaos, uncertainty, and ongoing change?


    Yes, if you are willing to be 100% accountable for your actions, responses and outcomes.

    No, if you blame outcomes on outside events, other people, and wait for the good things to just happen to you.

    No, if you keep blaming yourself for poor outcomes without making any change in your behavior or attitude.


    There is a simple formula to explain accountability. Outcomes are a result of your actions and your attitudes. What happens when you wind up working late every night? You are working as hard as you can, trying to keep up with notes, phone calls and the demands of a busy practice. Small stress that is cumulative over a few weeks turns into bigger stress as your health ultimately suffers; you are losing sleep and never really feeling relaxed. Does this sound familiar?  You are too stressed out and pay less attention to family, friends or have little left for anything else after work. After months or years of this, the outcomes can result in lost relationships, no support system and feelings of despair that now create a mental health crisis.


    Sometimes inaction allows a bad situation to escalate into a very poor outcome. Awareness is key to stepping up and making change. What are your choices? Start by paying attention and reflecting on the situation you are in. To make a change in patterns you need to start by understanding them. How do you spend your time each day? Look for situations where your time seems to flow seamlessly and where you get stuck. Ask for help. Ask those you know, who do seem to get their day done and behind them, how do they do it.


    Here is a coach's approach to personal accountability - use these questions to make a plan for a better outcome:

     

    1. What do you consider to be a difficult situation in your life right now?
    2. What are the benefits to you for keeping things the same (relating to this situation)?
    3. What are the costs to you to keeping things the same?
    4. What are you doing or not doing that allows this situation to exist?
    5. What are you ignoring or pretending not to know?
    6. What do you want?
    7. What actions are you willing to take or what requests could you make to get what you want?
    8. When will you take the first action?

     

    To make positive changes in your life you must be accountable for your outcomes.

    Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is simply the ability to be fully present in the current moment. Mindfulness will help you notice the small stress situations.
     

    Look for solutions - find areas where you can make small changes. Take action. Monitor the results of that one action. Keep adjusting small steps until you are satisfied that you are getting the results you want. Take some time and use the above questions to work through a difficult situation in your life.  Next post I will use these questions as a template and give you an example based on my experiences in coaching. If you have an example you want me to use, please comment on this post.